Monday, May 28, 2007


So this was a truly interesting weekend. As you can see from my last post, I was pretty down, mostly because of the whole "friend" situation. But this weekend I feel like I turned a corner. Things have been kinda stressful lately - lots of "grown up" things to think about, big decisions being discussed. Saturday started out pretty bad... we were supposed to go over to some friends' house for a BBQ, but I just couldn't deal with it. I know it's probably horrible for me to say, but it was because of their 2 kids. They're good kids, but the last time we went over to their house for a BBQ about a month ago, I kinda felt like I got stuck entertaining the munchkins. Don't get me wrong, I like them... but they aren't my kids. I'm a guest, & I kinda felt like the parents didn't really try to reign them in. So given my state of mind, the things in it, & the fact that I was just completely wiped out, I just so wasn't up for another round of that. I ended up calling in the afternoon & telling them that I wasn't feeling good & that we'd have to take a raincheck. (Now this wasn't totally a lie, because I really didn't feel all that great.) We were just kinda hanging & then ended up going out with Jer & Heather. I probably wasn't the best company... in fact I know I wasn't. But I did have some fun.

By Sunday I just wanted to veg out & watch my Indy 500 & relax, & try to get out of my head for a while. Of course, this wasn't going to happen. D's parents decided they wanted to do something, so he invited them over. Now, they were supposed to come over a little after 3, which should have been plenty of time for me to watch the race, but there was a long rain delay, so it didn't end up getting finished until 5:30. The 'rents didn't end up getting to our house until 4, & D's mom was just being a gigantic pain in the arse. I'm probably over reacting, but it felt like it at the time, which completely put me in a cranky mood. I mean really, when you tell someone that they don't need to bring over anything, you'd think they wouldn't, right? Oh no. She had to bring over this potato casserole thingie, which we didn't even want. *sigh* But we ate, they hung out for a while, & by the time they left I was just ready to punch someone or something. I'd just been stewing & just needed to get out of the house for a while. I needed some "estrogen therapy", so I sent Jer a text to have Heather give me a call. We ended up meeting up @ the Bone for drinks. This was kind of a big thing for me, because since my "incident" with the former friend, I haven't really felt like I had a female friend that I could go to with stuff. It was kinda hard at first, I guess 'cause I was still kinda gun-shy about opening up to someone again. (For the record, I'm still not that comfortable with it, but we'll get to that in a minute.) But we started talking, or I started venting really, & I started to feel a little better. I don't think I really solved anything, but it just felt good to say it & get it out of my head. This is where things started to turn around. We were having a good conversation, & then some more friends showed up. Lauree joined us for a bit, & we started having some good quality girl-time. It felt so nice, just having that bonding. It'd been a while since I'd had that. Suddenly it turned from me going up to the Bone to drown my sorrows to a good time. Then it turned into a good old-fashioned party, as several people came back to our house for booze & fun. LOL we ended up greeting the sun this morning around 6am. I don't even know the last time I did that.

I guess the moral of my long & winding story here is that I was wrong to want to close myself off from my friends, to not want that "best friend" again. I realized that I do have a lot of friends, & I love them all.